Asking a woman out can be a nerve-wracking experience for most men, who don’t want to ruin their chances of starting a relationship with a woman they like by making an awkward joke, using an old line or otherwise stumbling through the request. How you ask a woman out sends a strong signal to her about what type of man you are, so consider several techniques that will make the process easier for both of you.
Be Specific
Asking a woman if she’d like to go out “sometime” or “get together” or do “something” doesn’t show that you’ve put much thought into asking her out. Have a date in mind, and one that will suit her personality. If she’s athletic, ask her if she’d like to play tennis, go to the gym with you or attend a baseball game. If she’s intellectual, ask her to an art exhibit or play. If she’s the outdoor type, ask her to explore a local arboretum or botanical garden. Matching the date to the female shows you’ve thought about her and care enough about her to want her to have a good time.
Decrease Tension With a Daytime Date
Asking a woman out for a daytime date (such as lunch, coffee, a morning jog or brunch) means less commitment on her part, especially since a “goodnight” kiss is not as expected during a morning or daytime activity. Be careful this doesn’t backfire on you, though. Not asking her to dinner, movie or other traditional evening date may make her feel you aren’t committed. The better you know each other or longer you’ve been in contact, the more appropriate an evening date. If you are two ships passing in the night, or on the street, a daytime meeting might be more appropriate.
Leave Her An Out
If you ask a woman, “Would you like to go out with me?,” you give her no opportunity to say, “No,” without saying, “I don’t like you.” You will most likely get a yes answer in that situation from a woman who doesn’t know how to respond to being put on the spot, and you’ll be hurt later when she turns down your specific date request. Always ask if she’d like to go out with you on a particular evening or to a specific event. If you ask, “Would you like to get together this Friday night?,” she can respond, “I’m getting together with friends on Friday night” if she’s not interested. If she really is busy on Friday and wants to go out with you, she’ll volunteer another night. “I’m getting together with friends on Friday night . . . but I’m free Saturday night.”